The Last Kiss
"Remember when my grandmother died?"
"I felt a pain in my heart that I haven't felt again until now."
Something happened for me tonight. Something just clicked and there it was: the moment where I wept uncontrolllably in such a healing way. I mean, I've been crying a whole lot, but something set me freed tonight.
My god, it's been such a struggle. Whatever happens, today was a great day. I had a great day today. I mean, Nikki and I went to Peets, then went shopping, then went to dinner, then went to this great movie called the Last Kiss. I laughed. I cried. I grieved and I healed.
How fanstastic is that?
I am really getting clearer and clearer what this year's been about for me. In all kinds of ways, it's really been a good year. I mean, my god, what an amazing year. I've being initiated even deeper into myself.
Into love.
The movie tonight was so fantastic. It spoke right to my heart. I mean, there were a few moments where the director could've gone deeper if the writers were able to dig a little bit more. But really, what an honest movie. I love seeing movies like this. Keeping it real. Exploring the crumbling of the structure as we know it. I mean, really, we all fuck up. We all fuck up here and there, and the system talks about some being more okay than others and sometimes it creates this unfortunate side effect of blaming and attacking when really so much of what we are dealing with is really about struggling with our own humanity.
Relationships.
I feel so much grief. I mean. I get to hold onto my pain and not forgive, or I get to forgive and lean closer to love.
My god.
How painful. How painful how painful how painful. Letting go of existing structure can be so frightening, but sometimes love calls for that. Love says: let go, and let me in.
What an amazing year for me. As I grieve, my heart is so full of gratitude. I mean, really (I am aware of the fact that I continue to say I mean tonight), at the end of the movie, this is what Jenna said to Michael:
"Remember when my grandmother died?"
"I felt a pain in my heart that I haven't felt again until now."
I mean, the synchronicity of that.
THe divine just SO takes care of me. I feel so grateful.
"I felt a pain in my heart that I haven't felt again until now."
Something happened for me tonight. Something just clicked and there it was: the moment where I wept uncontrolllably in such a healing way. I mean, I've been crying a whole lot, but something set me freed tonight.
My god, it's been such a struggle. Whatever happens, today was a great day. I had a great day today. I mean, Nikki and I went to Peets, then went shopping, then went to dinner, then went to this great movie called the Last Kiss. I laughed. I cried. I grieved and I healed.
How fanstastic is that?
I am really getting clearer and clearer what this year's been about for me. In all kinds of ways, it's really been a good year. I mean, my god, what an amazing year. I've being initiated even deeper into myself.
Into love.
The movie tonight was so fantastic. It spoke right to my heart. I mean, there were a few moments where the director could've gone deeper if the writers were able to dig a little bit more. But really, what an honest movie. I love seeing movies like this. Keeping it real. Exploring the crumbling of the structure as we know it. I mean, really, we all fuck up. We all fuck up here and there, and the system talks about some being more okay than others and sometimes it creates this unfortunate side effect of blaming and attacking when really so much of what we are dealing with is really about struggling with our own humanity.
Relationships.
I feel so much grief. I mean. I get to hold onto my pain and not forgive, or I get to forgive and lean closer to love.
My god.
How painful. How painful how painful how painful. Letting go of existing structure can be so frightening, but sometimes love calls for that. Love says: let go, and let me in.
What an amazing year for me. As I grieve, my heart is so full of gratitude. I mean, really (I am aware of the fact that I continue to say I mean tonight), at the end of the movie, this is what Jenna said to Michael:
"Remember when my grandmother died?"
"I felt a pain in my heart that I haven't felt again until now."
I mean, the synchronicity of that.
THe divine just SO takes care of me. I feel so grateful.
posted by Julia C. at
Saturday, September 30, 2006
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