Hibernation

I've been hibernating for quite a while now. For two weeks, I did very little. Extremely little. I hid in my room with my great depression, reading novels to lick my wounds.

Unconsicously.

It always works.

This much quiet from the world has given me an opportunity to realize how hungry I am. I am dying for life. This life of mine, right now, suffocates me to death. I feel so much discontent. Rage follows, then confusion.

So I hibernate. Hide in my room. Cut off from the world. I do nothing.

And, I am starting to feel wild inside. This much desperation unleashes something very powerful. I want to live. I am so furious about what I don't have that I want to get them.

Passion. Fire. Intensity.

Freedom.

I am terrfied of giving myself freedom to be me, but the fear is killing me. Literally sucking the air and life out of me.

So I am angry. Furious.

I feel wild.

What if I allow myself what I never did? What if?

I am hibernating, with that seed spreading roots deep inside.

Hibernate. I am desperate.

I can feel the tingling of life, coming through. Very very very tiny.

I feel it.