Bursting through

Today felt like a very big day, even though no major event occurred.

Emotionally and spiritually though, I feel very full right now. My chest is tight, and I feel all these different things, one second I feel sorrow, and the next I feel joy. There is grief, a sense of loss, and a sense of renewal.

All mixed together.

I went to therapy today and it was an amazing session. Then I met up with Patricia and sent her off. Man, man, damn.

I will write more later. For now, I am going to sit with all of this, and feel the peace in the midst of all of it.

My heart feels so tender and raw, and my spirits high. Life feels like waves, and I am enveloped. Contained, deeper into myself since I met the world.

Grief, for some strange reason, comes with a sense of fulfillment this time. Loss comes with a feeling of having been blessed. Painful yet lucky simply just because I am alive.

The gifts of being alive and human. Many of them, and I hold in my hands great jewels that one can only dream of getting. I have lost myself in the house of love, and it is through being lost that I am found. It is the house of silence right now, since no words are needed.

Something sliced through the doors and locks, and something burst through me.

Merging, leaving, being.

I can only be silent now.

Silent, hurt and content.