Moody
I am moody tonight.
Not quite sure what brought it on. Just feeling kind of stale, kind of numb, and kind of sucked dry. I treat families on Fridays, maybe this has something to do with it. Just sucked dry.
I actually really like working with entire families. Just feel like I am making a bigger impact in terms of creating a space then and there between loved ones that are having challenges getting along/understanding each other.
But it's a lot of energies flying around in the room. Not a moment of nothing. Even the silence feels heavier.
Post traumatic stress is something quite different from everything else. The person's energy becomes twisted as their traumatic memories surface. That's the nature of traumatic memories though: constricted, fragmented, and larger than life in a distorted way. The dots are not connected, and the person remains under the spell of trauma.
And this is where I come in. To hold the space, process the emotions, bridge the gaps in those fragmented memories, tolerate what comes up. Certainly, I don't do the work. My job is to witness, reflect, empathize. Today I felt drained by it. A lot came out. It's really fucking hard work. Anyone who thinks that shrinks just sit there and listen and do nothing is dead wrong. Listening to traumatic experiences and holding the space for someone takes up A LOT of energy.
Feelings. Man. I am tired.
It was nice though, when both families thanked me today. I guess I am making a difference. Good.
Not quite sure what brought it on. Just feeling kind of stale, kind of numb, and kind of sucked dry. I treat families on Fridays, maybe this has something to do with it. Just sucked dry.
I actually really like working with entire families. Just feel like I am making a bigger impact in terms of creating a space then and there between loved ones that are having challenges getting along/understanding each other.
But it's a lot of energies flying around in the room. Not a moment of nothing. Even the silence feels heavier.
Post traumatic stress is something quite different from everything else. The person's energy becomes twisted as their traumatic memories surface. That's the nature of traumatic memories though: constricted, fragmented, and larger than life in a distorted way. The dots are not connected, and the person remains under the spell of trauma.
And this is where I come in. To hold the space, process the emotions, bridge the gaps in those fragmented memories, tolerate what comes up. Certainly, I don't do the work. My job is to witness, reflect, empathize. Today I felt drained by it. A lot came out. It's really fucking hard work. Anyone who thinks that shrinks just sit there and listen and do nothing is dead wrong. Listening to traumatic experiences and holding the space for someone takes up A LOT of energy.
Feelings. Man. I am tired.
It was nice though, when both families thanked me today. I guess I am making a difference. Good.
posted by Julia C. at
Saturday, July 02, 2005
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