Sleepy as Hell
So I am here at the library, sleepy as hell. I may have gotten something like 3 hours sleep last night, and it was entirely my own doing.
I always have this fantasy that I'd somehow manage to get up early to study the day that I have an exam, so I happily NOT study the day before and assume that I'd just go to bed early and everything would be fine.
Now, that's a mistaken belief that gets me in trouble: who am I kidding? When do I go to bed early unless we count it in the most literal sense? (Well, I do go to bed early in the morning, if you will.)
So that was the exact tragedy that happened last night. I stayed up until fucking 7am. It's ridiculous. I need a support group. Something. The nocturnal happy sufferers of thyself.
It usually goes something like this: 11pm, hmm, early still, so happy, roam around the house. 12 am, wow, early still, yeah yeah yeah. 1am, lalala, early, lots of time to play! 2am, okay, I can start preparing myself to go to bed at 4am, good, I have a plan. 3am, panic, only one hour left until I go to bed? But I am still up! I am up! 4am, desperation, I need to go to bed. This sucks; I am so awake. 4:30am, I really need to go to bed. Oh this sucks. I need to go to bed but just let me play a little more. 5am, it's not too bad still, I can go to bed in a little bit; it's okay.
By 5:30am, it's all over. I say, fuck it, if I stayed up until now, what does it matter? I am not going to get enough sleep anyway, and I am the super woman! I am going to be okay running on a few hours of sleep!
By 6:30 or 7am, I realize that I am royally fucked and how I told myself to remember how grumpy I get when I don't have enough sleep.
And the cycle continues. All the time. The 5:30 is the crucial mark. It's all over from that point on: I thoroughly give up on myself! I no longer strive to go to bed while I can. I say, screw you! I can stay up for as long as I want! So what? So what? So what? Hah!
It's a very three year old attitude. I know. I can't help it. The clock hits 5:30 and I get hopeless and start acting crazier. Insane.
And that, was exactly what happend last night.
Blah, I say!
I always have this fantasy that I'd somehow manage to get up early to study the day that I have an exam, so I happily NOT study the day before and assume that I'd just go to bed early and everything would be fine.
Now, that's a mistaken belief that gets me in trouble: who am I kidding? When do I go to bed early unless we count it in the most literal sense? (Well, I do go to bed early in the morning, if you will.)
So that was the exact tragedy that happened last night. I stayed up until fucking 7am. It's ridiculous. I need a support group. Something. The nocturnal happy sufferers of thyself.
It usually goes something like this: 11pm, hmm, early still, so happy, roam around the house. 12 am, wow, early still, yeah yeah yeah. 1am, lalala, early, lots of time to play! 2am, okay, I can start preparing myself to go to bed at 4am, good, I have a plan. 3am, panic, only one hour left until I go to bed? But I am still up! I am up! 4am, desperation, I need to go to bed. This sucks; I am so awake. 4:30am, I really need to go to bed. Oh this sucks. I need to go to bed but just let me play a little more. 5am, it's not too bad still, I can go to bed in a little bit; it's okay.
By 5:30am, it's all over. I say, fuck it, if I stayed up until now, what does it matter? I am not going to get enough sleep anyway, and I am the super woman! I am going to be okay running on a few hours of sleep!
By 6:30 or 7am, I realize that I am royally fucked and how I told myself to remember how grumpy I get when I don't have enough sleep.
And the cycle continues. All the time. The 5:30 is the crucial mark. It's all over from that point on: I thoroughly give up on myself! I no longer strive to go to bed while I can. I say, screw you! I can stay up for as long as I want! So what? So what? So what? Hah!
It's a very three year old attitude. I know. I can't help it. The clock hits 5:30 and I get hopeless and start acting crazier. Insane.
And that, was exactly what happend last night.
Blah, I say!
posted by Julia C. at
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
1 Comments:
you live like a college student. i go to bed at 11:30 and fall asleep within 15 min. and get up at 7:30. and i work out everyday...dang i am boring
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Anonymous, at 30/3/05 15:30
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