Things are just working out.....

Wait, please, don't let me jinx myself.

Yet, I am just so surprised that things seem to be working out! The teleinterpreter company still wants to work with me as an in-home indepedent contractor, and the group home still wants me to call them back in early June once I am done with the LAUSD job. Cool. I am happy.

That's that for that part of the personal news.

Last night, when I was talking with Rob, I confessed to him some things that I have been feeling. Rob, due to work pressure and internal questions, has been very annoyed and stressed and depressed about life in general. It has been an ongoing process. I have been watching this whole time, and I realize that, much to my dismay, I feel scared when his moods drop so low. I kept silently wanting him to be different; I don't listen to him as long or as detailed as I would my friends. I feel guilty, so I tried to repress these feelings.

But, I told him all that last night. I finally realized that, somewhere within me, there is still that desire for him to be the archetypal heroic man so that I could feel secure in my feminine role. I don't want to judge myself for retaining these gender expectation, but I do want to shift and evolve so that I could afford our relationship the space to grow. I told him that, "You know. I really want to shift and change this part of myself, because to continue to put you on a pedestal strips you of your right of being human, and it strips me of the right of loving you deeply and from different levels." I felt a lot more solid once I owned up to that. Rob, being his graceful self, was very in-tune with me. I adore him so.

So, that's that, too, for this part of the personal news. Whew.