My Upset

I feel so angry with certain members of my family. Intense rage, fury, seriously. It is not necessary what they have done or said, but rather what their being themselves triggers in me. I hate being scapgoated, but I constantly feel like I am being put into that role when talking with dad's side of family. While what they say hold a kernel of truth, I feel so resentful when I feel unheard, unseen, judged or labeled.

Seriously, I am feeling very pissed.

I don't necessarily want to go on a trip with dad and Andrew.....but I am going to wait and see how I feel the first couple of days of us spending time together. I keep reminding myself that I have many choices--I have the right to say no even if saying no potentially could trigger much intense emotions from others.

They are responsible for that. Not me.