Precious Illusions, and Invisible Best Friends

Patricia asked me on the phone today: "How are you doing?"

I thought about it for a second (I usually really tell people how I am doing; I figure that they want to know since they ask), and said, "You know; I can't quite sum it up in words. Traveling, I guess that's one way to put it. I have been traveling, and it has been an intense, rigorous and deep journey."

I recently put together a CD as well, 18 songs to capture different life stages. Each song has a few lines that signified the feeling state of that period of my life. How music heals and repairs, moves and jars us further into our journey.

"These precious illusions in my head
Did not let me down when I was defenseless
And parting with them
Is like parting with invisible best friends

Even though I know who I am not
I still don't know who I am
But I know I won't keep on playing the victim"

Traveling, traveling. Deep into the water of memories. So lucky to have this break to work hard internally; what a drastic difference from working at the shelter; both have served to help me expand experientially. The material I read for school and extracurricular reading materials that I pick (all about psychology, surprise, surprise) are propelling and triggering; I am holding on to myself, and diving right in.

"Hold on; hold on to yourself
This is gonna hurt like hell"

Isn't that right.

Yet, this is what I choose.