And now it's August. I signed up for this thing in May and forgot about it. (How you gonna ask a woman who's got an actual journal and a daily log on the computer to remember putting stuff down here?) I gotta rethink my journaling structure. I got shit everywhere these days.

Went to Da Poetry Lounge last night with Rob, Ivy and Cris. Talked to Stephen about the party this Saturday. I don't know why I am being such an indicisive person putting this shit together. Should've been just the bossy bitch that I sometimes can be and just set the date and tell everyone! AAAAAAArrrrrrrggggggg, it's turning into a nightmare, but it's gonna be awesome. We are gonna shower Patricia with lots and lots of love until she bursts into flames of joy. (Whoa, that sounds lame.)

I am so bored and relaxed lately. It's so easy to feel bored when I am trying to relax. What happened that I got time to bored these days? I quit working at the shelter; that's right. Been unemployed as of 7/21/03. It's much better now. Just chilling, reading Virginia Woolf's biography and finding incredible similarities between us (except for the talent; that's yet to be determined.) Rob took me to see India Aire on 7/20. Geeta invited me to see another concert at the Hollywood Bowl that Friday. I been talking on the phone like crazy with folks from TW. Kinda worried about Belle but not really. Gotta live and let live, man. Let go and let God. Rob bought me the DVD for THE HOURS. That shit is so deep; I can hardly bear the tension. Love that director. My online class Introduction to Counseling is coming to an end this Friday. Learnt very little; mostly my own fault. I kept putting stuff off since it's all open book. No matter.

Woke up at 4 a.m. crying. Dreamt about grief. My dreams are so deep and profound these days it's almost too intense. But feels good. Connected to myself more. Got up, cooked, surfed onlint and scared Rob twice (that boy freaks easily when he is sleeping, just like me.) Right now he is tossing and turning. Poor thing. I cooked Campbell's chicken soup. Been whining about wanting spicy soup to Rob since last night. Finally I did something about it. Still need to get the real thing though.

I am getting fatter by the day. No matter. I am on vacation.

Oh, I wrote Evany a long email today, too. Got back to Patricia and sent out the 234786348273687648273648723th email about the stinking party this Saturday. Hate being indecisive. Too inefficient. Damn.

Hey! I got up at 4!